


A Fuzzy Little Problem

by hogwartsjaguar (orphan_account)



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bahorel hates cat, Courfeyrac being Courfeyrac, Feuilly gets a cat, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Minor Enjolras/Grantaire, Multi, The Amis hate cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2358434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hogwartsjaguar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feuilly didn't know what he did to make Cupcake hate him so much, but he did know how much Cupcake hated him and everyone in the Amis. Feuilly thought about getting rid of the 'devil reincarnate,' several times, but he never did and he regretted it. Cupcake was evil and there was nothing that he or any of the Amis could do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fuzzy Little Problem

“Are you sure that you want that one?” The manager asked in disbelief, as he stared at Feuilly as if he had suddenly sprouted another head. The manager turned around to make sure that the man was pointing to the right animal. “You want that cat?”

Feuilly nodded. “I don't see why you are making a fuss over a cat. He can’t be that bad, he looks harmless.” Feuilly rolled his eyes at how ridiculous the manager was being as he went to the cage and stuck his fingers through the bars in an attempt to stroke the cat. The cat backed away and hissed loudly and waved a paw in an attempt to scratch the fingers. Feuilly decided that he liked to have fingers and he needed them to make fans, so he thought it would be a good idea to take them away from the cat. 

“I can show you more cats.” The manager suggested as he saw Feuilly’s reaction to the cat. “There are better looking cats than this scruff ball.”

“I think that you should get a nicer cat, that one looks as if it is going to be trouble.” Bahorel suggested from the wall that he was leaning on. “Or you should get a dog, or get a girlfriend, that is what normal people do.”

Feuilly rolled his eyes and looked at the cat in question. It wasn't that ugly, but they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The cat was fat and it looked as it had been in several fights in the past, as it had a chunk of its ear missing. The cat was the colour of a rotting squash with bright, piercing green eyes. The cat’s face was squashed in, and looked like as if the cat had run headfirst into a brick wall. Bahorel had loudly announced that the cat looked as if it had been possessed by an evil spirit. Feuilly hoped the cat would lose the possessed look, soon enough.

The only reason that he was choosing this particular cat, was that the cat had been in the shelter the longest. Feuilly knew what it was like to be not wanted. In the orphanage, it would always be the younger children that were always adopted first. Then after the younger children, the girls would get picked next. Usually the best looking children were the select few in the orphanage that were adopted. The rest were locked away, until they were too old to be in the system and then they were dropped into the world, while a new group of children filled their empty beds. Feuilly himself was never picked. It wasn't that he was badly behaved or anything like that, in fact, he was one of the best behaved children in the orphanage. It was easy to be the best behaved children in the orphanage, as it was placed in a crime filled area. The only reason Feuilly wasn't adopted, was that someone cuter came along. Feuilly wasn't considered cute, he had always been a bean pole, with limbs that looked too long for his body and he had a shock of red hair that could not stay flat no matter how much he tried. 

The only reason that he was getting a cat, was that Jehan thought that he could use some company. Due to his ungodly work hours, Feuilly could only see his friends about once a week and it was for a small amount of time. The only ones of the Amis that he saw on a regular basis was Jehan and Bahorel , mostly as they were flatmates. He found it difficult to find time to see his other friends, mostly as his free time between his three jobs was only really early in the morning or late at night – times at which people would be in bed. The other reason that he was getting a cat, was that Jehan had claimed that cats didn’t take much effort. It didn’t take much convincing for Feuilly to get a cat, mostly as he wanted to save another animal from not being wanted.

“Are you sure that you want this cat?” The manager repeated for the thirtieth time in ten minutes, still with the same amount of shock to his voice after he heard Feuilly ask for the cat for the first time. Feuilly nodded and signed the form.

Feuilly got the ugly lump he wanted. The manager looked rather relieved once the paperwork was handed over and he even thanked Feuilly several times while shaking his hand. While this was happening, Bahorel glared at the cat, and the cat glared back and hissed. Bahorel swore that he saw the devil in the cat’s eyes, and he knew that Feuilly was an idiot for following one of Jehan’s ideas.

“What are you going to name the little darling?” Jehan squealed, as Bahorel took the cat out of the box (after getting several scratches from the cat.)

“I haven’t thought about anything yet.” Feuilly shrugged as he started to build up the scratching post, that his downstairs neighbour had given him when she had heard about the cat. “I think that might give him a Polish name.”

Bahorel sighed loudly once Feuilly had mentioned Poland, he could understand that people had things that they liked, but Feuilly was obsessed with the country. Feuilly’s bedroom had a large Polish flag on his wall, and all the books that he owned were about Poland. Feuilly even had an obsession with Polish sausage, to Jehan’s horror, mostly as Jehan was in one of his vegan phases again, despite him really liking meat feast pizzas. 

“I think that you should name the little darling after something romantic.” Jehan suggested. “That would be lovely.”

“What about Satan?” Bahorel suggested as he tried to bandage up the scratches that he had received from the cat. He took the mental note of wearing long sleeved shirts for the next week, as Joly would go mental and try and diagnose him with a few diseases that he got from Web MD. 

“You cannot name an animal after something that is evil.” Jehan tutted. “Cats are not evil, they are sweet and they cannot do any harm.”

“Famous last words.” Bahorel muttered. “That cat is pure evil, have you seen what the devil reincarnate has done to my arm?” Bahorel exclaimed as he shoved his arm into Jehan’s face. “I was just trying to be nice to the beast, as well.”

“I think that you should give the cat a name that reflects the true nature and spirit of the cat.” Jehan said as he knelt down and started to look for the cat, who had ran away the moment that it was taken out of the box.

“Then the cat’s name should be Satan, as the cat is pure evil.” Bahorel commented.

“My cat is not the devil.” Feuilly said as he stood up from the newly built scratching post. “He is just adjusting to a new environment. He is in a room with people he doesn’t know and he is in a new home, it would be scary for anyone.”

“He will adjust.” Jehan said as he made his way into the kitchen to get the cats food ready. “You should name him something that flows off the tongue. What do you think of Solstice, Feuilly?” Jehan suggested as he opened up the tub of cat food and poured in into a bowl. Jehan immediately pulled a face at the smell of it; Jehan imminently decided that he was going to train this cat to be a vegetarian even if it was going to kill him.

“No. That is something that a hippy would name their child.” Feuilly snorted.

“What about Beelzebub?” Bahorel suggested. “I think that it is rather fitting.”

“No.” Feuilly sighed.

“What about Melody?” Jehan piped up.

“I hate to burst your bubble, Jehan, but the cat is a boy.” Feuilly said.

“Names have no gender, Feuilly.” Jehan pouted with his bottom lip hanging out dangerously low.

“What about Lucifer?” Bahorel suggested as he tied the last bit of bandage around his arm. “You could call him Lucy for short.”

Feuilly sighed loudly at his friends suggestions for naming the ugly looking cat. He liked to think of himself as being a rather creative person in many aspects, but he couldn't think of a name. There is an unspoken amount of pressure when you are trying to name something, mostly it is that the thing that you are trying to christen with your chosen name is basically stuck with that name for life. You could end up bestowing a name that is truly awful, to spell, say, or even listen to, and the recipient of the truly awful name could hate you for the burden that you have given them. Feuilly at this point was probably over thinking about this, but he just didn't want the creature to suffer because of him.  
He asked his friends, to go and ask some of the Amis over text message about what to name his cat. He requested for his friends to ask select members of the Amis for their advice on naming – mostly as if he asked Bossuet, he would chose to name the cat ‘Lucky,’ and that would be a disaster for everyone. And if he asked Grantaire, he would want to call the cat ‘Apollo,’ to Enjolras's horror. In the end, he had gotten Bahorel and Jehan to ask Enjolras and Marius, and Feuilly was left to ask Courfeyrac. 

Jehan was the first one to get a suggestion from Enjolras. In fact, Enjolras had been rather enthusiastic about having the opportunity to name a creature, and he had given several suggestions. “Enjolras thinks that the cat should be named ‘Patria,’ Jehan groaned the moment after his phone rang. “Actually he believes that the cat should be called ‘Catria,’ that is even worse.”

“No!” Bahorel and Feuilly exclaimed loudly.

“Thank the heavens for you saying no to that.” Jehan sighed in relief. “As if you were going to name your cat that, I would name it myself. Can Enjolras not think of something else to name anything? That is his go to name for everything. He is going to end up naming one of his poor children that.”

“What other names has he suggested?” Bahorel asked. “Wait, don’t tell me! Are they ‘Lemarque’ and ‘Rousseau,’ by a chance?” Jehan didn’t even need to answer, as the evidence was shown as Jehan put down his phone in defeat, while muttering about Enjolras’s lack of creativity. Bahorel flashed a toothy grin and announced rather loudly that he was a mind reader.

Feuilly’s phone was the next to go off with a message from Courfeyrac. Taking in a deep breathe of anticipation, he prepared himself to open up the message. An answer from Courfeyrac could end up being truly brilliant or extremely mind blowingly strange. Courfeyrac was originally wanting to name their political group, ‘The Boy Band Of Paris,’ before it was shot down by Combeferre, who had come up with their current title. Courfeyrac could end up possibly suggesting a name like ‘The Supermegafoxyawesomehot Cat of Paris.’ It was a risk asking Courfeyrac, but hopefully he would decide to come up with a normal name. Feuilly sighed and opened up the message. Immediately after opening the message, Feuilly pulled a face.

“What does he want to call the evil little bugger, Feuilly?” Bahorel asked.

“He thinks that the cat should be called, ‘Courfeyrcat.’” Feuilly mumbled. 

“At least he is being more creative than Enjolras.” Jehan snorted. “I think that name is a definitely a no. What does Marius think?”

Bahorel pulled out his phone and pulled a face of pure and utter disgust. The first thought that went through Feuilly and Jehan’s head’s was that Marius wanted to name the cat ‘Cosette.’ This was all fine and dandy, until you thought about it and realised that Marius was a bit obsessional with the girl he called the love of his life, even though he had just stared dating her.

“He wants to name the cat ‘Cupcake.’” Bahorel mumbled as he began to look rather nauseous. “That is so disgustingly sweet for the devil reincarnate.”

“It is better than having a name inspired by his girlfriend.” Feuilly commented. “Cupcake is the most normal name that someone has suggested, and no Bahorel, before you even say it, I am not naming my cat ‘Lord of the Flies.’ Besides if we name the cat after something that we all love, we will all love the cat.”

Jehan squealed as he started to go around the flat shouting the name of ‘Cupcake’, in a rather high and ridiculous voice that no one though Jehan could possess. Feuilly started to work on his newest fan and Bahorel started flick through the television. The flat was silent for a short amount of time, with the only noise coming from Jehan , who continued to go around the flat and calling for Cupcake in the ridiculously high voice. 

“What have you done, you evil beast?” Jehan screamed at the top of his lungs. Feuilly and Bahorel dropped what they were doing and ran into Jehan’s bedroom. Jehan was standing by the door completely ashen faced and shaking.

“Those were brand new sheets, and they were silk!” Jehan sounded if he was close to tears, Bahorel thought that he would react in the same way, as Jehan tended to buy the finer things in life that had an extortionate price tag. If some animal had decided to do it’s on his gym equipment, Bahorel would be positive that he would be crying and he would get Joly to burn it for him.

Feuilly and Bahorel looked in the direction from where Jehan was pointing and they found Cupcake-who was looking rather proud of himself , sitting on Jehan’s bed and eating a bird feet first. There was a large pile of feathers -presumingly from a large bird, or several smaller ones, lying on top of the pillows and there was a spread of blood and guts on the silk bed sheets, and on Jehan’s poem book, there was a mouse’s head lying on top, as if it had been placed like the star on a Christmas tree.

“Oh look,” Bahorel exclaimed as he shot a glare at the increasingly smug looking cat, Bahorel was sure if Cupcake was the Cheshire cat, he would be flashing his biggest smile. “Satan has left a present for his Uncle Jehan, and his mummy has to clean it up.” Bahorel shoved Feuilly in the direction of Jehan’s bed. “You better hope that those stains come out, or Jehan is going to kill you. You’re the only person who I know who has invited a murder into his home.”

Bahorel left soon after with the excuse of not wanting to be in the middle of ‘Hurricane Jehan ‘The Wrath’ Provaire.’ Just as Bahorel left the flat, he wished Feuilly luck, not just on the cat, but on surviving Jehan’s wrath. The moment that he left the flat, Bahorel could hear Jehan shrieking at the top of the his lungs at Feuilly who was apologising loudly. Cupcake was sitting outside on the windowsill, he had a smear of blood on his nose. 

“You are just the devil reincarnate, aren't you?” Bahorel asked as he glared at the cat. Cupcake hissed loudly and reached out to scratch Bahorel. “I won’t be surprised if Jehan decides to perform an exorcism on you.” 

After his comment, Cupcake hissed loudly and started to run after Bahorel. Bahorel just managed to make it to Joly and Bossuet’s, with only minor scratching- that took up most of his body- and he was given the treat of having Joly forcing him to take an emergency chemical power shower-Bahorel wondered why Joly had a power shower in his home, especially as Joly lived in an apartment and not a chemistry classroom, but Joly liked science and there was Bossuet, so it was probably an necessary thing to have- after being screamed at by him for over ten minutes about the dangers of cats, while Bossuet attempted to calm Joly down-it didn’t work as Joly ended up getting even more annoyed. Bahorel thought that it was better than being in a room with the angry poet and the killer cat. 

Feuilly woke up that morning with something warm on his cheek. He sighed in content as he shuffled closer to the source of warmth, and smiled in happiness as maybe Cupcake had decided to drop all harsh feelings towards him and he would hand out the olive branch to him by sleeping on his bed. Feuilly spend the next few minutes in a state of happiness before the alarm would ring out to rouse him from his dreams and into the realm of work.

When his alarm blared with the obnoxious tune that Courfeyrac had thought that it would be great for him to wake up to, as Feuilly really needed Beyoncé blasted at him at six in the morning-even though he did feel his inner woman feeling more empowered-but he wouldn’t tell anyone that, or even the fact that he had an ‘inner-woman,’ as that would make people ask some questions. Feuilly stretched in his bed, before reaching over to stroke Cupcake-who still hadn’t moved-actually Cupcake hadn’t moved in a while. Feuilly curiously poked Cupcake and hoped that Cupcake wouldn’t attack. Cupcake didn’t even move one bit. Maybe Cupcake was asleep, that had to be it, Feuilly thought as the rubbed his face with a large hand. Normally this wouldn’t be an eventful action, but this time it was different, as there was something sticky on his face. Feuilly inspected his hand and saw it was covered in red, and he decided to look at Cupcake. But it wasn’t Cupcake. It was a large rat. A large dead rat, with no head, and its blood on Feuilly’s face.

Feuilly made a noise that he never thought that he could make, as it was several octaves higher than what he normally sounded like, it was on the same vocal range as a soprano. He kicked off the covers and flew out of the bed and tripped on a pair of shoes and went flying into the wall with a loud crash. Several paintings fell from the wall and smashed, and several books went flying out of the book shelf. Feuilly didn’t care though, as he started to try and scrub the blood out of the bed sheets, before Jehan found out about them-mostly as Jehan would freak, as Feuilly was borrowing a set of Jehan’s silk bed sheets.

A loud purring came from on top of the desk. Feuilly looked up and saw that Cupcake was looking rather proud of himself, and if he was a human, Feuilly knew that he would be laughing at him. Cupcake was covered in blue paint for some reason and there was a trail of paper going into his room. Feuilly picked up a larger bit of paper that was lying on the ground, and turned it over to see what it was. The bit of paper had been painted on and it had a design of a flowers on it. Feuilly put two and two together, as he realised that devil of a cat had destroyed his fan, that he had been working on for weeks.

Feuilly glared at Cupcake and Cupcake glared back. It was decided that he was going to get rid of the cat. He had promised himself that he would never do that to an animal, but there was a first time for everything. Bahorel was right for once in his life, that cat was the devil in a rather good cat costume. Once he had breakfast, that cat was going back to the shelter.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Feuilly didn’t return Cupcake that day. Feuilly never actually returned Cupcake back to the shelter, mostly as he felt horrible about abandoning an animal at the shelter. Also when he set himself to do it, something else got in the way of it and it made him drop what he was doing and go to where the emergency was. He had managed to make a sort of truce with the cat, in the sense of , if Feuilly fed it and let Cupcake have his own way, Feuilly was safer and Cupcake wouldn't leave a rat on his bed for him. Bahorel tried to tell Feuilly, that a cat bringing you dead things was a sign of affection, but Feuilly knew that it was a lie. Cupcake bringing him dead things, was a symbol of what Cupcake was going to do to him, if he didn’t let the cat have his own way. Cupcake couldn’t be nice, he hated Feuilly with a passion.

Feuilly wasn’t the only person who Cupcake hated, to be honest, Cupcake hated everyone, even if they fed him. Bahorel was terrified of Cupcake and he wouldn’t want to admit it, but Cupcake had made him cry several times, and that is an achievement as Bahorel never cried at anything or anyone-Bahorel didn’t even cry when Dobby died in Harry Potter.  
If there was a level of being a douche for a cat, Cupcake would be right on top of that list, right next to Justin Bieber and all the other big douche-canoes of the world. Feuilly had tried to be nice to Cupcake, but Cupcake threw that all in his face every day. Cupcake had taken up to destroying Feuilly’s fans and any piece of work that was left on the desk. Feuilly had tried to move all items that were important to him and the ones that could be easily destroyed, but there was no point in trying to move things, as Cupcake somehow managed to know all of Feuilly’s hiding places for things, and he seemed to destroy them more. 

Jehan had a particular hatred for the cat, and he claimed that it was ‘possessed.’ Jehan had decided that the cat was evil, after his silk bed sheets got ruined for the second time in one week. Cupcake had a particular hatred for Jehan, especially since Jehan had attempted to help Feuilly and Bahorel give Cupcake a bath to remove all the blue paint from Cupcake’s fur. It ended up in a disaster. Feuilly, Bahorel and Jehan ended up getting completely soaked, while Cupcake was rather dry. Cupcake was still covered in blue paint, while the three men were covered in Hello Kitty plasters, that Bahorel kept for some reason. 

Feuilly decided to try and tame cupcake, in a last chance attempt to make living with the cat an easier task to do. Feuilly decided that he couldn’t encounter the cat alone, and he needed someone to help him, or at least remove his body when he was dead and plan his funeral, just so that Cupcake couldn’t devour his corpse when it was lying on the floor.  
When he asked Bahorel to help him, Bahorel refused to help, even though Feuilly was his best friend. Feuilly knew that Bahorel would refuse, mostly as Bahorel despised the cat with a passion, and he hadn’t been in their apartment as much-mostly as he was terrified that Cupcake was going to murder him in his sleep-Bahorel had taken up to sleeping over at their friends’ as much as he could, and Feuilly couldn’t blame him. 

So with the brawn out of the Amis out, Feuilly had to find someone else to help him. He had asked Bossuet-as he was the next best thing-but Bossuet refused and claimed that he needed to wash his hair-which was strange as Bossuet was bald. Joly refused , as he had to help Bossuet wash his hair, and so did Jehan, who needed to pass Bossuet a towel once he was finished washing his hair. 

Thankfully Courfeyrac and Enjolras had decided to help Feuilly tame the beast. Courfeyrac wanted to do it-mostly as he didn’t have anything better to do. And Enjolras was bullied into doing it, by Feuilly, who said that Enjolras was ‘the best leader in the world and he can change it, and I hope to be a fine god like him one day.’ Enjolras couldn’t say no to Feuilly on a good day, but when he got told by Feuilly that he was the best leader in the world, he couldn’t say no to that, and he willing to help out a friend.  
Feuilly had managed to get all the protection that he could find, to prepare himself with the task of taming the beast. He had borrowed Bahorel’s hockey mask and stick, and Bahorel’s football helmet. He had gotten all the pillows in the house and attached them all over his body-just in case Cupcake wasn’t wanting to be nice. He had told Courfeyrac and Enjolras to bring something to protect themselves with and to wear long sleeves. Enjolras told him that he was being stupid and Courfeyrac mentioned something about the cat needing protection from him.

“Do you not think that you are over exaggerating?” Was the first thing Enjolras asked, when he and Courfeyrac went up to his apartment door. “It is a cat that we are trying to tame and not Courfeyrac once he has three energy drinks.”

Feuilly sighed, and realised that there was no point in trying to tell his friends about how evil his cat was, mostly as they would not believe him or they would suddenly have something else to do. He looked at his friend’s choice of clothing, and realised that they were going to be in danger. Enjolras was wearing a pair of shorts and a short sleeved shirt that was obviously Grantaire’s and what made it worse Enjolras was wearing sandals. Courfeyrac, on the other hand, looked as if he had just gotten out of bed-which was very likely-as he was wearing a dinosaur onesie and he was clutching a can of energy drink as if it was his lifeline. 

“I am going to let you know that Cupcake is not a nice cat,” Feuilly said in a whisper, in case the cat could hear him. “He will attack, and you will end up getting scratched, but that is okay, as I have Hello Kitty plasters in my pocket.”

“Feuilly, this is a cat that we are talking about, it can’t do that much harm.” Courfeyrac scoffed as he took a large sip out of his can. “Feuilly, you are making a big fuss out of nothing, I can’t believe that you dragged me out of bed for this, and it is not even the afternoon.” 

Feuilly sighed before opening the door and starting to make his way in to his apartment and raising the hockey stick in preparation for the cat’s first attack, Courfeyrac and Enjolras soon followed. Feuilly was positive that he was going to get murdered by Cupcake. He had written out a will of the very few items that he owned , to hand out to his friends, just in case he didn’t make it. Bahorel had already claimed his beer glass that was the shape of a human skull, while Grantaire got his fans and his art supplies, Combeferre got his books-and the rest of the Amis could have a fight to the death over everything else, and Marius got Cupcake, as he claimed that the cat was ‘sweet,’ even though that Cupcake had attacked his arm minutes before. Hopefully Cupcake wouldn’t cause that much damage.

“What have I done to deserve this?” Courfeyrac asked, as he held the head of his dinosaur onesie in his hands. “I thought that we were friends Feuilly, Friends don’t let their friends go through this sort of trauma.”

“Oh stop complaining Courfeyrac, you knew what you were letting yourself into.” Enjolras snapped, as he started to look for his missing sandal-which was thrown somewhere outside, when Cupcake had decided to go outside and Enjolras didn’t have a weapon to defend himself from the cat’s claws. “Feuilly do you have any more plasters, my legs are covered in scratches.”

Feuilly sighed before pulling out the Hello Kitty plasters and handing them to Enjolras-who had turned into a walking scratching post and he had angry red marks all around his body. Cupcake had decided that he disliked Enjolras the most out of the three men who tried to tame him and focused his attacks on the marble man, especially after Enjolras called Cupcake some unpleasant names. “This is why I told you to wear long sleeves, to stop this from happening.” Enjolras rolled his eyes and gave Feuilly the finger.  
Thankfully Feuilly had been the least affected by Cupcake-thanks to the hockey mask and football helmet, but the pillows that had been strapped on his clothes , had been ripped to shreds within a few minutes. Despite all the bloodshed and Enjolras’s tears, Cupcake wasn’t more tame than he was before. Feuilly was sure that Cupcake was even more feral than he was before, and he would be bringing Feuilly something dead to put on his bed for the morning.

Maybe trying to tame Cupcake was a bad idea. 

“Is there any reason why you are on the floor and bleeding?” Combeferre asked with a raised eyebrow and an amused look on his face. Feuilly briefly wondered why Combeferre was there, but the soon remembered that Courfeyrac called him for ‘back up,’ after Cupcake started to attack Enjolras. 

“We tried to make Satan nice,” Courfeyrac coughed as he tried to ignore the stinging in his eyes, “and look what he did to my dinosaur onzee. Feuilly you are buying me a new one, my mum bought me that.”

Feuilly sighed and started to count up all the money that he owed his friends because of the cat. He owed Jehan three new sets of silk bed sheets-he could have just paid for the dry cleaning of them, but Jehan refused to sleep in sheets that once had a dead rat on them. He owed Bahorel dry cleaning for his good leather jacket that now had blood on it. And now Courfeyrac wanted to have a new pair of dinosaur footie pyjamas, what was next? Enjolras wanting a new pair of sandals? Maybe his friends would let him pay them back latter, once he got rid of his furry little problem. He would pay them back now, but he was short on money as he had to keep buying Cupcake the gourmet cat food, as Cupcake would refuse to eat the regular shop brand, and he would eat rats and birds in front of Feuilly to protest. Feuilly hated it when Cupcake would eat animals in front of him, but he couldn’t look away, mostly as Cupcake would like to stare at him without blinking for a very long time as he devoured the poor creature. The sooner that he got rid of Cupcake the better.

“Courfeyrac, maybe this is a sign that you should stop wearing footie pyjamas.” Combeferre said as he pinched his nose. “Enjolras are you willing to give me a sensible answer, for what happened to your legs, well actually your whole body? And the reason why you are missing a shoe?”

Enjolras took in a deep breath and placed another plaster on his knee. He wanted to tell Combeferre, but he was slightly worried that his friend would think that he was being stupid for getting attacked by a cat. As the fearsome marble man he was, getting smashed and broken by a cat named ‘Cupcake’ was comical. Enjolras pointed to the window, where Cupcake was staring at the three broken men.

Combeferre sighed again, even louder than before. Feuilly briefly wondered if Combeferre was a pool toy that was slowly deflating; with the amount of sighing his friend was doing. Or Combeferre was fighting the urge to turn their skulls into beer glasses for Grantaire.

“Cupcake isn’t a very nice cat,” Feuilly shrugged, “we tried to tame him and it didn’t work.”

“The three of you got attacked by a cat?” Combeferre exclaimed as he made his way to the door of Feuilly’s apartment. “That is absolutely ridiculous. I am going to go in and see this cat of yours. You are making your cat seem worse than it is.” Combeferre scoffed as he opened up the door of the apartment and strolled in. 

“Famous last words.” Courfeyrac muttered quietly, Enjolras snorted in agreement. 

Feuilly stood up once he heard the door of the living room being thrown open. He heard Combeferre talking to Cupcake. He started to count down three seconds, as that is how long it would be before Cupcake attacked. 

It wasn’t even three seconds, before Cupcake started to hiss loudly and Combeferre’s shouts echoed throughout the flat. Combeferre wasn’t someone who swore often-mostly as he believed that it was a sign of lack of education, however every second word he was shouting was a swear. Feuilly could swear that it was the first time that he had ever heard Combeferre curse in their six years of friendship.

“Shouldn’t we be helping him?” Feuilly asked.

Courfeyrac shrugged. “He knew what he was letting himself into. He didn’t believe that Cupcake was evil, and he thought that we were being stupid for getting attacked by a cat.”  
Feuilly looked towards Enjolras for guidance, but Enjolras was more occupied with his plasters as he muttered something about him disliking cats and how Cupcake was worse than the monarchy.

The door burst open and Combeferre threw himself out, with his hair messed up and his glasses askew. He was covered in scratches, and he had only been inside for less than a minute. Enjolras didn’t say anything, but he passed the plasters to Combeferre, who took them without complaint. 

There wasn’t much to say after that. Three men wondered why Feuilly was an idiot for adopting an evil cat, the other man wondered that as well.  
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Even though he was slightly concerned about it, Feuilly was also slightly relived when Cupcake didn’t come back home one night. He enjoyed the aspect of not coming back from work to find a dead bird waiting for him on his bed. He also enjoyed the aspect of Bahorel being able to stay in the living room for more than five minutes-as Cupcake would chase Bahorel out of the living room, every time that Bahorel sat on the sofa. Feuilly enjoyed being able to work on his fans and not worry about a cat destroying them.  
Life was amazing without Cupcake and Feuilly actually started to miss his days, where he wasn’t a cat’s mother. He especially loved the aspect of not being attacked by the beast every time he did something that Cupcake disliked-and that was most things. 

On the first few days of Cupcake not being home, Feuilly didn’t care and he assumed that Cupcake would be hiding somewhere in the apartment and causing trouble. Feuilly didn’t care what Cupcake was doing, as long as there was nothing dead in his bed.

But on the third day of Cupcake not being at home, Feuilly was starting to get worried. Cupcake was known for going away for periods of time, but he would always be back to annoy him or Jehan before bed. But this time Cupcake hadn’t come home. He got Bahorel and Jehan to completely turn their apartment upside down to look for the cat, while he looked around the neighbourhood and asked the neighbours about it. But they had no luck, and no one had found Cupcake. 

Feuilly was getting worried about Cupcake. Even though Cupcake was an absolute horror, Feuilly had grown somewhat fond of the cat in a very strange way. He didn’t love Cupcake that much and he would tell himself that he would get rid of Cupcake, but he never did. Feuilly didn’t know if it was possible, but he was sure that he had a love hate relationship with Cupcake. Sometimes Cupcake would be nice to him and he would sometimes get into Feuilly’s bed at night. On those nights, Feuilly would end up being cold, as Cupcake had the tendency to make a nest out of all the blankets-and on occasion Cupcake has managed to kick Feuilly out of his own bed and forced him to sleep on the couch. Feuilly wasn’t sure what a cat’s definition of love was, but he was sure that was the closest thing that he would ever have to it. 

Days went past and Feuilly had no luck in finding Cupcake, and Feuilly began to assume the worst. No one had seen the cat and he had begun to ask random strangers and all of the shelters for cats-just in case one of them got Cupcake. 

As Feuilly was about to cancel off the search for Cupcake, he got a visit from Grantaire , who had managed to find Cupcake somewhere. Feuilly couldn’t believe his luck and he was about to reach out to stroke Cupcake, but Cupcake attacked his finger, before starting to purr loudly when Grantaire stroked his chin.

“I take it that this is the devil cat that everyone has been talking about?” Grantaire asked with an amused smirk. 

“That is Cupcake by the way.” Feuilly said in shock as a loud purring noise had come from Cupcake, after Grantaire stroked the cat’s ears. Feuilly was positive that he had never heard that noise come from Cupcake before. He was also amazed that Grantaire still had both of his hands and all ten fingers. 

“That name is sickly for a cat that is meant to be the ‘man killer,’ according to Bahorel.” Grantaire smirked. “I don’t understand why everyone is so terrified of your cat. He comes over to my apartment all the time and he doesn’t even do anything bad. That is where he was, I was going to call, but I thought that he was a stray.”

“Does he bring you dead things?” Feuilly asked. 

Grantaire shook his head, before continuing to stroke Cupcake’s head. “He just tends to sleep and eat and that’s it. I always thought that you had a pet tiger from the way that you talked about your cat. I don’t see how this cat is dangerous. I think that he is rather lovely.”

The gears started to turn in Feuilly’s head, it was so easy on how he could get his life back from the cat. He knew that Cupcake would be looked after by Grantaire-as Grantaire liked to feed the stray cats and he had all of the equipment to care for a cat. He saw that Grantaire genially liked Cupcake, despite being the devil reincarnate, and he saw that Cupcake liked Grantaire. It was clear on what he should do .

“Grantaire do you fancy a cat?” Feuilly asked. “I don’t have the time for Cupcake, and he likes you.”

Grantaire’s face broke into a large grin and it was rather contagious, as Feuilly started to smile at how happy his friend was and Cupcake started to purr loudly at the thought of having a new home, that didn’t have Feuilly in it. Grantaire happily accepted the prospect of having a new pet.

“You are the best, Feuilly!” Grantaire exclaimed as he was about to leave the apartment with Cupcake in his arms. “Enjolras is going to love this.” 

Feuilly smiled, but he knew that Enjolras wasn’t going to love the idea of having Cupcake in his house-especially after the time they had tried to tame Cupcake. Cupcake hated Enjolras, and Enjolras hated Cupcake, but maybe since Grantaire would be there, Cupcake would be nicer to Enjolras, Feuilly doubted that. 

Feuilly waved at Cupcake and Grantaire as they left his apartment. While Grantaire thanked him again for Cupcake as he waved enthusiastically at him, Cupcake hissed at him and stuck out his claws. Feuilly didn’t care though; he managed to get rid of Cupcake. He did feel slightly bad about abandoning his pet and giving it to someone else, but he knew that Cupcake was going to a good home and that is what mattered, and the only thing he should be concerned about was the angry phone call that Enjolras was going to give him.

Feuilly got the angry phone call from Enjolras, ten minutes after Grantaire had left his apartment. Feuilly didn’t care, and he celebrated Cupcake’s leave, by putting the silk bed sheets on the beds, as he or Jehan didn’t need to worry about guts and blood being put on them and stating the sheets.  
It was a great day for everyone. 

Feuilly never did get another pet after Cupcake, but he didn’t exactly want one, after Cupcake. Most of the Amis couldn’t blame him. There was a part of Feuilly that still wanted a pet for companionship, and he did toy with the other idea of another cat, but then he thought of Cupcake and that desire of a pet was soon vanished.  
Feuilly did the next best thing, he got a cactus and he called it ‘Edmund.’ Feuilly wanted another companion and he wanted something that could fit around his work and his desire of not being attacked by it every day, and Edmund was the right ‘pet ‘ for him. Edmund didn’t do anything or needed much , apart from being watered occasionally, and because of that he was the best pet. Also he was a good listener, as Feuilly discovered. The other Amis did find it concerning that Feuilly liked to talk to a cactus when he was home alone , but they never said anything about it, as Feuilly was rather happy with Edmund and the rest of the Amis liked the fact that they weren’t attacked every time they walked into Feuilly’s apartment, and all was well.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off one of the headcannons of the very lovely illogicalprouvaire , who had written the headcannon of Feuilly having an evil cat and she has let me write a story about it. Her tumblr is:http://illogicalprouvaire.tumblr.com/ , she also writes some lovely headcannons and you should check them out.
> 
> I have a tumblr as well, where I write headcannons and other Les Mis related things, at http://hogwartsjaguar97.tumblr.com/.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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